Alam ko, walang ka-connect connect ang picture na ito sa blag ko tanayt but keber na, yan ang latest ko eh. As in fresh 5 hours ago.

I know, lahat naman nagdadaan sa “world emotera day” kaso minsan, masyado nakong ginugulo nitong special day na ito na parang nagiging 4-month long celebration na. Ayaw akong tantanan! It’s taking all of my energy, mala Keri Hilson. And I have to admit, it’s pulling me so far down now. Far far down, isang kanto mula sa far far away.

Last night, nanaginip ako. Someone was asking me to go abroad, treat lang, biglaan lang, and then when we were about to leave, wala daw akong passport, and other important papers! So, I had to sacrifice and let go of that big opportunity to leave the country. And I was crying in my sleep because I let it go, I had to let it go just like that because I was simply not prepared for it.

When I woke up, I thought about my dream LONG and HARD. Hindi bastos yung dream ko, at wet dream siya in the sense na na-wet ang pillows ko kakaiyak (or kakalaway?). So, nagisip ako how to relate it with my present life now. What if, that really happens, yung biglang may dumating na magandang opportunity tapos hindi ako handa, shall I let it go or grab it and learn during the process or shall I wait? Di ba, andaming nareraise na questions, parang exam lang.

Ang bongga lang how these dreams push us to wake up, and make a decision. How it allows us to experience things which would rattle our minds and make us think. And I know, lahat naman nakakaexperience ng mga ganitong klaseng panaginip, yung tipong paggising mo, you would feel fueled to do, to pursue your vision.

At ng dahil sa panaginip ko, nagphotoshoot ulit ako. Very relevant naman diba? Hahahaha. So ang panaginip ko ba naging model ako? Artista?

At ng email nako ke Anti Tyra Banks, na kunin nya ako sa latest cycle niya. Nag-email nadin ako sa ABS, GMA, pati TV5 na i-book nila ako sa mga shows na kelangan nila. I-pe-pursue ko na talaga to. Hahahaha. Why not. Pangarap ko to walang pakealamanan. CHaraught.

Eh, feeling ko lang wala ng point yung entry ko, so tatapusin ko na muna dito. Salamat sa nageffort magbasa.

<3lots,

A.

I’ve been having these paranoid thoughts due to an occurrence related to my health. It has been the source of stress since yesterday, and I just needed to get all of this out.

Arte ng intro ko. Oo, namomoblema ako, may sakit ata ako and it scares me like hell and this is not a chos! I can’t really explain the details here, pero yun nga I am sure there’s something wrong with me and I am so afraid and stressed kaya nagpicture picture ulit ako ng wala sa oras.

Pagdating ko from work, medyo na-BV ako ng slight sa balur due to unavoidable circumstances. Good thing may naitago akong chocolate cake sa ref so I ate it in front of the mirror. While eating, sabi ko sa sarili ko, “maganda aura mo today girl, kume-curls pa ang hair naturally. dali wag palampasin ang pagkakataon, i-document na yan”. So nagpauto naman ako sa sarili ko, sabi ko naman, “peg ko ngayon, yung walang mook-up” kaya lang, my lips looked so pale so inavail ko nalang ang pink lipstick ni Inay.

Habang sine-set-up ko ang tripod, camera, mirror, sabi ng mudra “magsisisa ka nanaman anak?” (SISA- babaliw-baliwan; dress-up;) and I said “OO” proudly. So nung na-set up na, test shots naman daw muna ako kunware..

Di ko masyadong bet, so nagchange outfit ako ulit.

Fez shot. Ma-highlight lang ang lipstick for a change.

With super Flash!
 

Natural light
 

And then, I saw the mirror.
 

Favorites

Ako’y nagi-istretching! CHaring!

So ang moral lesson dito? Idaan sa picture taking ang problema! Pwedeeee. Pero, kanya-kanyang way nga iyan ng pag-cope. Individual differences. Nagkatoon lang na this activity made me forget about everything for a few minutes so it works for me! Try nyo rin. :)