Aca-nthoughts

Tsinelas, bow.

After 6 years, my havs finally retired. Maybe it’s my hormones making me emotional and nostalgic over a pair of slippers but somehow, anything that reminds me of that day I left home or connected to my move is a trigger. Maybe I’m just home sick.

There’s also that angle of ‘nothing lasts forever’ kasi nga naman tsinelas yan. Anlayo ng connection but it’s making me reflect about life. Yung wear and tear, di lang applicable sa gamit, sa tao din. The sad reality is sa gamit, you kind of know when it’s time to break down kasi it shows you signs. And there’s also that bit where you can replace it – mas maganda at bago, mas matibay, mas tumatagal. Pero sa tao, we’ll never really know. Malingat ka lang, pwedeng wala na pala.

Tapos napaisip nanaman ako. I think I would categorise my self as career oriented. There’s so much more I want to achieve for my self, my growth in terms of career. I am even open to leaving the comfort of my 12-minute walk to and from work just to pursue something bigger and brighter. Pero with tsinelas’ lifespan ending, napaisip ulit ako. What if this is telling me to slow down. To reassess my goals and just focus my energy on what I have here and now. Baka chasing my idea of a successful career should be left as an idea, or I can just modify it.

Oh di ba sa napigtas na tsinelas nag reassess ako ng life goals. But seriously, I need to take a break from getting myself into so much ganaps and focus on 1 or 2 priorities muna.

Aca-nthoughts, Married Life

Year 2.

2 years, my love.

For better – this year, I’ve seen how you’ve grown (I mean about other growth but if you’re thinking physically well yeah, I’ve seen that too and you weren’t alone in that division, lol). You took a leap of faith and changed jobs; you left your comfort zone for more opportunity for learning; your perceptions about human nature matured, which meant you no longer fret about your frustrations because you now understood how people are people; you’ve become more responsible; you’ve accepted the fact that you will always be in charge of feeding me lol;

For worse – In all our years as friends first till we got married, we’ve sailed our roughest sea this year. Although we’ve had our small victories, we’ve also seen losses – the one where you’ve lost a big piece of your heart, one that is irreplaceable and impossible to forget. I’ve seen how you’ve tried to detach yourself from your emotions in front of everyone and still give them your warmest smile. But then, I’ve also witnessed how you bend and break quietly in a corner, ripples of grief flooding your eyes and soul. Feeling helpless and not knowing what to do or how to help. All those times all I could ever wish for was to take away your pain.

When I look back at our vows, I think I now understand the gravity of these promises made and that nothing would come easy. This year taught us about resilience. We are naturally flawed, inconsistent and we can never control what happens. But that’s just how life is and all we could do is to relentlessly march forward. And know that in every step, I am here with you plus, you’re new guardian angel – Mama Melinda. ❤️

Aca-nthoughts, Random Snippets

Random Snippets #23

One of the longest 6 weeks of my life, pero in the end, nga-nga padin. I miss home, at kung gaano kaaffordable magpa hupa ng stress. Yung after a stressful day at work, dederecho nako sa Lyf Center (existing pa kaya yung shop?) sa may San Gabriel to get a 250 pesos combi massage for 1 hour. Pag nasa ulirat pa, sasakay ng tricy ulit papuntang centro sabay bili sa suki kong manggahan/singkamasan then bili ng wintermelon milk tea or zagu black forest grande. Then punta sa paradahan pauwing Caggay for 10 pesos. Kahit overwhelmed at pagod, laban padin kasi pagkain at masahe lang napakalaking tulong na. Bat ba kasi ang hirap tumanda at maghanap buhay anez?

Pero sana naging mas realistic and practical sila sa school ano? I think kaya mas nakakapagod mag adulting kasi none of us has a clue how to do this shit. I mean no one can decode everything but it would’ve been more helpful if na-include sa syllabus about paying your taxes, investing in life insurance, getting a loan, managing stress, how to love your work/colleagues, anong mabangong fabcon, ilang thread count yung masarap higaan at higit sa lahat, pano maging patient at hindi sumabog pag nagkasabay sabay lahat ng ganap. Swerte ng ibang may available guidance. Mahalaga pala talaga yung mga payo ng taong nagdaan na sa mga stages. Pero pano nalang yung mga sinosolo lahat dba? Paano na?

Hay.