Diversion

After a really stressful week of crying due to my world emotera week and lurking in my bedroom, I finally saw some light a.k.a sunshine! And what better way to destress than Food and Sightseeing right?

First good news for me this week, I finally got my new toy. So, since it’s a day out, might as well enjoy playing with it.

Testing.. Testing!

Kunwari paartistic! Picturan ang heart shaped condiments sabay hashtag: walang forever!
Plawer plawer na may pa-dew effect

Sige, halugubin ang mga paandar sa balur!

Basta ang alam ko, gusto ko yung nakuha ang mga ukit ng palad ko dito. 100% no edit and filter itey!

Ang pang geography class ko sa kwarto at ang peg sa lafangan festival today!
Todays 1st agenda: FOOD!
We decided to finally step foot at Earl’s Court. Antagal na naming naririnig to from the Ate’s ang Kuya’s so since betchikola ang Pinoy Lafang today, ayun aura na kami don. Pagka baba palang sa station, avail na agad ang mga Pinoy sa paligid, so confirmed nga na this is the place. a few minutes walk from the station, amoy mo na ang simoy ng Pinas. Naka hambalang kaagad ang pa-internet cafe na 50p/hour na feeling ko talaga eh business paandar itech ng mga seniors natin. Also, andun ang ilang groceries, restaurants at siyempre, parlor ng ating mga ateng! Pagkakita nito, wala nang isip isip pa kaen na tayo at tommy na!

Ala carte or buffet or even the boodle type thingy, name it they have it!

Since medyo cravings ang nananaig, deadma muna kami sa buffet at sinunod muna ang pintig ng aming chanda romero at nagorder kame ng sandamakmak. While deciding, aba, nakita namin ang matagal na naming hinahanap – Pale!

So for two people, we ordered: Lechong Kawali, Ilocano Pinakbet, Sinigang na Hipon, Sizzling Pork Sisig, Pritong Tilapia plus garlic rice.

Ate: Ano pa order niyo? Good for ilan ito?

A: Saming dalawa lang ate

Ate: Sure kayo dalawa lang kayong kakain nito?

A: oo ate! Happy fiesta kami ngayon

Atw: *hahahaha* nganga

And, dahil nga happy fiesta ang peg, ito lang ang kaisa-isang documentation

* After 5 minutes, ubos!* Charaught! Kinaya naman ng 30 minutes hahahaha with matching take away since di na kinaya. Ps. kalahati lang ng tilapia at kalahati ng pakbet ang di naubos so feeling ko, we did a very good job! Para sa ekonomiya ito, para sa bayan. Palakpakan, paaaak!

Para naman di masyadong guilty sa linafang, lumakad namad kami for around 30mins to get to Holland Park feat. Kyoto Gardens. Tamang chillax lang muna habang nagpapababa ng lafur

Pagkapahinga, Namiss ko ang favorite street art ko so dumaan narin muna sa Shoreditch and Bricklane para makapagrelax ang aking utak tumingin ng mga chorva sa pader

At diyan natatapos ang aking diversional activities! Tutok muli sa susunod!

P.s. Medyo nawaley na ang kwento, more of photodump na. Next time ulet pag sinipag!
PPS! My #uniquenameproject! Hinanap ko talaga ang street na itey!

Blabbermouth

Major Drawbacks

I am one of the blessed people to be where I am now but despite being able to live the “UK dream”, there are still some major drawbacks especially in terms of distance.

My biggest hurdles involve my family. It is quite a pain to be taking care of other people whilst one of your family need your care as well.

On my third month in this country, I lost my grandfather. He was old. He was wandering and went missing for weeks. Everyone went searching for him until, they found him decayed up in the woods. There was nothing I could do but curl up on my bed and cry. I was his favorite apo, and I regret not being able to say goodbye to him before I left. I regret not being there.

On my eleventh month, my uncle (whom I’ve considered as my Dad growing up) had a stroke and became critical. Eighty percent of his throat was already blocked with nicotine. Just when I was recovering from my Lolo’s death, here’s another setback. It was christmas and, instead of celebrating, I was wallowing. I couldn’t afford another loss. He did recover eventually, not the same as before but still, he survived it.. but one more attack, and he’s guaranteed dead.

A year and 7 months and here’s another fender bender. The most important person in my life – my Mother – suffered a stroke. This time, they’re querying a brain stem infarct which is really dangerous and a delicate situation cause if not managed well, all of her major functions could be compromised. This news broke me down. How could I go to work, serve and take care of other people while my mother is sick herself?

All I could do at this moment is pray, get updates and.. Maybe go home and take care of her? I lay it all to you Lord. You know what’s best for all of us.

Aca-sabihan

Love, Heartaches and Recovery

“The battle has finally ended. There were neither winners nor losers, what’s left was happy memoirs, dried up tears and bruises and new beginnings .” -A.

I have tried so many times to put all my heartaches into writing but I guess I never had the courage to do so. And, more than a year later, here I am, still wounded by the past but healing, guided by my hard earned lessons and still chasing my new beginnings.

Eleven years, seven months.

Ten years LDR.

Skype sessions, viber conversations;

Every two years meet up, or if lucky, every year.

It was a long and winding battle we both had to fight and now, I can look back with a smile knowing we did a good fight for “us” to last. Nobody wanted us to be together, but we sure as hell showed them how determined we were. Family, friends, distance couldn’t get in our way. It should have been a really interesting and powerful love story ey? High school sweethearts, you and me against the world love affair; But, our story just had to end, cause despite withstanding all of the obstacles, all of those forces trying to break us down, we forgot to deal with our one true nemesis- OURSELVES.

“She brought me to the beach and she pointed to the right where the Baltic Sea is. it’s a very beautiful and blue sea, and the current travels west. Then she pointed to the left, the North Sea, also very beautiful but the current travels east. And then she pointed to the middle and said: That is the perfect relationship. You can look to the left and you can look to the right and both seas are there, and they can meet in the middle but they never lose themselves in each other. They are always themselves no matter what” – Copenhagen

We lost ourselves. And in the process, we ended up hurting each other far more than we ever imagined; more than we ever wanted to. And when there was just too much hurt that at one point it already overshadowed all of the good and happy memories you’ve built together after all those years, you just have to breathe, accept the fact that there was nothing to fix anymore, that it was just not working anymore, gain strength and courage and then... let go. So I did. It wasn’t the easiest decision to make, but I thought that moment was when I felt I was at my bravest. I finally acknowledged that there was really something wrong, and we can’t just keep on coming back to square one. It became a never ending cycle and it made me feel sick. It was no longer doing me or him any good. It was no longer healthy.

The letting go and moving on part was a horrendous process, clinging on your dear life, wishing you won’t fall off the wagon with all those hopelessness and depression and end of life ideations. It felt like drowning in front of a lot of people yet no one can save you… But yourself. It wasn’t the best feeling in the world but it did get better, it does get better each day, one step at a time. It also gets better knowing which of the people around you truly cares.

I’ve kept mum for the longest time but now I could finally say with a happy heart that I’m on my way to full recovery (getting to the finish line actually😉)and that I wish you nothing but happiness and success cause you’re a good person and I know you deserve it. All the best! And as for me and my soul searching, I’m still discovering and seeing a new side of me which makes me more excited with life. I am more inspired now. I am more free. I am more me. I am … :)