Blabbermouth

My best case scenario (A Prelude)

We’ve all been through the rough patches in life. I mean, sino ba namang hindi? At some point, we all came to a phase where we wanted to just give up and drop everything. Bahala na.

I couldn’t count by hand (and feet) how many times I was on the verge of giving up and just ending everything once and for all. But I still came through, every. single. time. I did learn important lessons though. And some techniques or perhaps mechanisms to halt disappointments and heartaches.

What’s your BEST case – WORST case scenario?

Everytime I get into difficult situations, big decisions, I always ask this to myself. And overtime, it has transformed me into a hardcore realist. It did have it’s downside though. My walls were way up and unreasonably robust but hey, it worked for me.

When my almost 12-year relationship ended, I was shattered. Ang hirap. Ang sakit. For lack of better word, it was a f*cking sh*thole! And if I’m gonna be honest, drinking, partying helped me cope and travelling helped me heal my grieving heart. Also, I had replayed the best and worst case scenario button in my head a million times. And then, out of nowhere, I bumped into a broken soul. It’s funny how fate led 2 freshly wounded souls (in short, parehong galing break-up) together. We began as friends – we talked, laughed, stress walked (we just walked and walked silently anywhere, thinking), and for most times, cried together. We became each others shoulder to cry on, sabay tugtog ng Scared to death at Wag ka nang umiyak (Ebe and Kz version, way before nag-trending yung kay Gary V) . Ang emo ng friendship namen. It felt like we were both in a severely destructive phase na anytime, puputok. And for those who didn’t know or understand what we were going through, and what we had, people simply assumed. At one point, we were even each other’s reasons for apparently breaking up with our partners hahaha. Nkklk! It was just a frenzy of emotions and hearsay. Ang gulo! Pero kebs nalang. What’s important is I/we just move on from this dark cloud over us para masaya na. Nakakapagod din eh.

After a few months, I got over the depression phase. I decided to head for the best case scenario and just move on with my life. And you know what, it is just one of the most exhilirating feeling ever – knowing you have fresh start. A clean slate. Freedom. And with my fresh start, I began falling inlove. Tricky at first, given both our history. I was hopeful, but never expected. Pero, akalain mo?

So there my friends, is the synopsis of how I got my best case scenario: unexpectedly, unintentionally, I found the love of my life. From 2 lost, damaged souls into starting anew into a lifetime of love. Funny how you find love in the most unusual time, place and circumstance.

First picture: note the friendship gap

My love ❤️

Aca-sabihan

Progress report

You come to a certain point in your life where you ask yourself: am I having any progress? You begin to doubt yourself, start regretting things you’ve done or should’ve done. You become too hard on yourself. Beat yourself up for wasting your life away. For wasting time. You ponder on opportunities you let past. Relationships ruined. All mistakes, all frustrations, all the uncertainties.

What am I doing with my life?

But then again, progress is still progress. Don’t compare yourself with other people’s success and question your position. No matter how tiny or how far you leapt, you still got somewhere – and that matters. You have different priorities. Different circumstance. You’ve made difficult decisions. You are different and unique. More importantly, in between everything, no matter how hard or chaotic or complicated your life is, was, you had your small victories. Learn to cherish, appreciate and celebrate them.

Life is too short to dwell on regret, mistakes, the past, anger and comparison. What matters is you are here now. You may not be the best version of yourself yet but, you’re also not the same person you were yesterday. Each day is a learning process. Each day you are given the opportunity to progress, to improve and to inspire.

Blabbermouth

PMSing

Yep. It’s that time of the month. I may be oversharing but my hormones just wouldn’t stop. So, here it goes.

Let’s start this random PMS post with this piece of cake. This is a left over from my birthday 2 days ago. I’m not a big fan of cakes but, I do like to eat a particular kind. The kind that has been left in the fridge for a number of days. There’s just something with the taste of leftover cakes that I adore. Weird but I love it. So yeah, I’m left here to munch on it. While I’m blabbing nonsensical things about myself.

After dinner and clearing out the dishes, I went ahead and folded some of my laundry and the hubby went upstairs to play his new game. Some couples I know hate it when their beau’s play. I actually enjoy it because gaming time = me time. And I love and treasure me-time. This is important to me cause I have always been used to doing things on my own. So, with this I decided to binge on youtube videos and I came across Videos from Hamilton the musicale. I have been wanting to watch this live for the longest time (since they began) and I was so ecstatic when they finally announced that they’re coming to the west end. Unfortunately, tickets are so hard to cop (fully booked till June), and a bit pricey (for me at least). But I really really want to watch!!! All I could do for now is to drown myself in their music.

Another random PMS thought, and regret. We’ve missed Paramore’s concert a week ago. I’m so depressed. (OA!!!)

….

Hubby’s here now and were about to watch a movie. Also means random rant will be cut short for now. Till next time. Taaaa!