Bridechilla Diaries: LDR wedding planning (Part 1 of 2)

In all honesty, I underestimated the whole process of getting married. Akala ko pwede na yung puchu-puchu lang na preparation. I never in my whole existence (wow, ang OA ko don) realised how elaborate the planning and preparation would take and how it can suck the pasensya out of you lol. That is why, I thought of writing this guide or list or however you may like to call it about how I came up everything. Who knows, may makarelate and find it helpful and I’m also doing this for my 2 avid blog followers na nagrerequest nito (akalain mo may nagbabasa pala ng mga churna ko dito!?)

1. Jumowa ka muna besh.

Find a jowa | Establish a good relationship | Level-up

Siyempre, let’s start this list right. Before you even go into overdrive, yung pinaka importante muna- dapat may jowa ka muna at alam niyang jowa ka niya at willing kang iharap sa altar. One thing I learned all these years is that you can’t ever force yourself into someone na hindi pa ready. Mahirap yan and if you do, you’re only setting yourself and the relationship to fail. Marriage is a lifetime commitment so it’s important na when you commit, pareho kayong ready and all in. Bear in mind na once you’re in, wala nang kawala hahahaha!

2. Rated K (Kasal): Handa na ba kayo?

Assess yourself | Assess your partner | Evaluate the relationship

As I mentioned earlier, marriage is a lifetime commitment and believe me, wedding planning is also hard work. Sino ba naman yung may gusto na in the middle of planning and organising everything, biglang may nag back out kasi narealise na di pa pala ready and nakita kung pano ka nag beast mode sa stress mo pumili kung carnation or blush pink yung shade na gusto mo. I guess, to make my hanash short, I established that first: (1) Nasa stage nako ng buhay ko na I enjoyed my own company, I had my fair share of singlehood fun, I know who I am and what I want and I have loved myself enough to want to share it with other people. (2) I am sure that I love and am in love with the person and I accept what he is, what he was and what he will be in the future and that this love and devotion and respect is equally reciprocated (3) Quality vs. Quantity. In that period that we’ve been together, has it been fruitful and worth it? Are we happy? Have we learned our lessons on those trialing times? Have we made each other a better person? Have you agreed to disagree and learned to compromise on certain things?

Pucha ang cheesy ko jan pero in fairness seryoso ako. I came from a broken family so I know and I’ve seen things na wit ko bet maexperience in the future so it just makes sense na maging sigurista din di ba?

3. Talk-show: Planning Phase 01

What do you want | Set expectations | How much are we willing to spend | When and where | Who should get involved

What do you want?

This is a very crucial question because this will be one of the backbones of your wedding planning. The talk shouldn’t be a one-off thing; counted yung mga random conversations/ chismisan nyo especially yung mga spontaneous comments ni jowa on random occasions na may connect sa wedding. Also, be patient especially with guys. Unlike girls, their planning isn’t as structured as we want it to be. Often times, they will say ikaw na bahala; kung ano gusto mo okay nako and that could be frustrating at times pero hinga lang girl, ganyan talaga sila. This celebration is about you two and 2 heads are always better than one so pag may chance, ask for their opinion. I-pattern mo ke tito boy yung questioning baka umepek.

Set expectations. How much are we willing to spend?

I based mine on these criteria: Bongga, Sulit or Simple. In this day and age, we can get easily swayed with all these wedding videos on Youtube or all these editorial-ish pictures and really extravagant settings. Oh tukso, layuan mo ko. Part of the talk would mean you have to be realistic and practical in choosing what you want especially on the financial side of things. Ang gastos pala magpakasal.

We settled for a SULIT wedding. If we’re gonna do it in the UK, computing the expenses of visa and air fare palang, talo na kame. Plus the actual wedding expenses which quite frankly, mahal nga talaga dito. Since all the family’s back home, might as well di ba? In terms of spend, we shouldered everything equally and paid on a staggard basis so di sing bigat sa bulsa at di rin sing mahal.

When and where

We’ve set one specific criteria for this. We wanted it to be in Manila, and the church and reception should be in just one area para no hassle for the visitors. As for the date, I know some people prefer a certain special date and all; yung iba nagpaconsult pa kay Tita Zenaida Seva or pina feng shui pa pero on this bit, we went for something more practical hahaha. What we originally wanted was January 2018 (which was our anniversary, my birth month, and swerti sa Chinese yung mga ocho ocho). The catch was, we already found a venue that had everything and they were basically on sale so hinabol lang talaga naming yung sale wherein nakatipid kame ng malaking halaga. Ang pinaka kinonsider namin is 80% practicality, 15% swerti and 5% audience impact char! We chose November kasi it’s off-peak and may pa-discount si Mayor, Friday kasi para may pasok lol so meaning mas tipid sa headcount kasi di na aatend yung iba and 17 kasi wala lang bet lang naming hahahah.

Who should get involved

You will need all the support and help you can get from people around you especially if you’re doing this overseas planning thingy. Family, friends, can help you organise things for you so you just need to delegate certain responsibilities like taga lakad ng papeles, taga follow up ng supplier, taga tikim ng food etc. If you have extra in the budget, you can hire a wedding organiser to help you run things smoothly. If you’re more like me na gusto hands on sa lahat, what I did was just get an on the day coordinator pero the rest, inayos ko na lahat. May internent naman.

4. Call Center Agent/ Researcher: Planning Phase 02

So meron ka nang initial talk with the Fiance and you’ve set your expectations, wants, budget and date. Eto na yung madugong process: looking for the perfect suppliers. What we did was after getting engaged, we flew home to get the ball rolling. Namanhikan na, and went supplier hunting. I think it’s much easier now cause you can find everything online plus there’s these webistes/ blogs and even facebook groups (Wawies) that is a good resource for all your needs. Anjan pa si pinterest where you can create your pegs/ inspiration looks so you’ll know what you’re working with and in a way visualise your plans.

From my own list, these are the major suppliers we booked for our wedding. What we did was list our top 3 for each, contact them and then compare their packages and see kung saan mas susulit without compromising our vision.

a. Church Venue – We didn’t want a big church kasi we wanted something a bit more intimate and parang di ko bet yung may bungi bungi sa upuan. We just wanted a small chapel. And like a said, yung malapit or at least walking distance lang sa venue para no hassle for everyone.

b. Reception Venue- Close to the chapel and yung maganda na siya as it is para minimal ayos nalang yung kelangan and no need to book Gideon Hermosa char!

c. Photo & Video: Siyempre, this is something na ayokong tipirin and doing a bit of photography myself I know how these pictures will live on. Although we’ve decided na we won’t go ahead sa pre-nup pictorial and save the date shoot and mag DIY nalang kame and recycle our travel photos and videos. Plus we have friends who takes good photos so avail na, nakatipid pa!

d. Caterer: of course, we wanted to get someone with excellent food and sulit packages especially with the styling since we agreed not to get a venue stylist.

e. On the day Coordination: Was not too picky on this although importante na yung may good feedback AND affordable

f. Lights and Sounds: Same, not to picky on this one. Actually this was one of our bahala na supplier

g. Music/ Band: this was actually just an option cause and plano is to let our friends do the singing/ entertaining instead.

h. Mobile bar: not a priority but a high option. Para walwal lang and ebribadi happy

i. Flowers: mahusay dapat pero di sing mahal. Malaki din kasi yung impact ng flowers so dapat oay din yung package offers daba

j. Event Host: di ko akalain ang mamahal narin pala ng rates ng mga hosts. Although I understand din naman na basically skanila nakasalalay yung flow ng programme and make sure na enjoy din yung mga guests.

As for the other essentials like invites, souvenirs, outfits etc, we decided to just outsource everything from where we are.

…. uy umay kna ba mag basa? Putulin ko na dito; part 2 on next entry!

Aca-ganapan

Maffu Dambel: Hampas Lupa Experience

Mā-ffu Dámbēl • Mmmma-foo Dahm bhelllllll | Verb, Adj | 1. Popular Itawes expression of friends joking around pertaining to who did it better and whoever loses is stupid 2. Way of taunting a person/ group of people telling them they’re basically losers. Charooooooot! You might be wondering, ano bang connection ng title sa post na ito? Honestly, diko din alam pero let me try to tell the story, baka eventually maconnect ko para may sense naman kahit pano.

Backstory:

I am a certified probinsyana. Growing up, siyempre may mga party party tugs tugs ding ganap. Unlike the metro, di uso yung mga clubbing galore samin. Pag sinabi mong night club sa Tuguegarao, what comes to mind automatically is Macapagal (one whole street stretch of adult night clubs). Open 7 days a week pero try to pass by on a Friday or Saturday night and you’ll think May Flag Ceremony ba? Nakapila na silang lahat! Tapos yung mga proper party clubs naman, parang dadalawa lang yung maayos at may 75% chance na di ka uuwing may basag na bote sa ulo. So ang uso talaga, mga inuman lang sa kanto or bahay. Pros: Generally, mas safe; Mas tipid; Feeling ko mas bonded kame with friends lalo pa’t mahilig mag karaoke yung barkada. Although every now and then, we do try to go to what club is left for good fun! And yes, pagdating sa sayawan unli energy! Mga tinikling levels tapos biglang magsswitch sa pabebe tapos biglang lit af (oh dba millenial) tapos biglang mag chacha-cha! Expect our performance level! Pang Britain’s Got Talent ganern!

2 years ago according to Time Hop:

Fast forward to 2016. Sabihin na nating di kame naexpose masyado sa party scene ng mga shala so when we got invited to go to Revel, medyo we had our hampas lupa moments. I’m glad I dragged Puffy, one of my bestest friends to share this moment with me- in short, para may kasama akong mashonga if ever hahaha charot! So Revel, according to Google is a high-end nightclub (bongga me levelling), so you can expect the same high-class level service, interiors and crowd. Actually, sabit lang naman talaga kame cause definitely on a normal day, street food lang masaya nako but it’s good to experience this now and again di ba? Kita niyo may chinichika tuloy ako dito.

Upon entering the club, we had our first (1) hampas lupa moment.

Gelo went in first : stamped
Then Papa Jay (brother in law): stamped
I went next: stamped
Puffy last: stamped

Bilang sanay kame sa stamp pad and super evident bluish-grayish ink na magmamarka talaga sa skin, I sort of wondered pero diko na vinerbalise. Di naman umangal sila Gelo at Jay so naisip ko baka light activated ganern. Pero si Puffy, binalikan si ate girl!

Puffy: Ate! Pwedeng pakiulit kasi walang mark. Baka wala nang ink.
Ate girl: *Confused*. Ganun po talaga sir, sabay wave nung UV light sa kamay to show na meron nga.
Puffy: Ahhhh okayyy. Ganun naman pala. Dino- double check ko lang

Once we got in, tawa na talaga kame ng tawa. Napaghahalata kame agad agad eh nasa entrance palang hahah! We then sat on our booth and party party na! Bilang sanay kame sa kantong inuman, siyempre yung mga usual pulutan na inexpect namin is mga sisig, hotdog, chips (fries), siomai saka yung mga ganung pica-pica paandar lang. Pero pagdating namin, parang wala palang pulutan. Buti nalang lumaps na mga lola nyo before going. Pero as I said, performance level tayo sa dance floor so siyempre, nagutom din ulit kame eventually. Same time, umorder narin sila pero naloka kame, yung inorder na pulutan beh- sushi! Bacardi, Black Label at Sushi? (Hampas Lupa Moment #2). Siyempre tinginan kame ni bakla- ahhh ganito siguro talaga yung mga sosyal, iba yung taste nila sa pulutan. Tawa nanaman kame. Alam mo yung may feeling of not fitting in pero may feeling din na masaya lang kasi enjoy naman din yung moment.

By 1am, nagkayayaan lumipat next door which was sa Valkyrie- another one of those sikat clubs daw. It’s a bit bigger and that time EDM yung tugtugan although yung vibe is parang more masa yung crowd. What I can say is sobrang nagwalwal na lahat pero order pa more ng alak. Mukhang peg talaga yung gapangan and the aim was maubos daw lahat ng alak- pero parang impossibleng mangyari dahil nga order pa more ang mga bagets. Sabihin na nating yun na yung pinaka naging turning point ng pagkakaibigan namen ni Puffy. Walang usap usap, nagkaintindihan na agad sa mga ninja moves kaya eventually, literal na naging over flowing na yung alak hahaha! After 45 minutes siguro, achieve! Naubos nga lahat! I feel like I’m not making any sense and you may not even find this funny pero nakakatawa talaga yung gabing nagkaroon ng baha sa Valkyrie! Hahahaha hastag ninjamoves! Thinking about that experience 2 years later, feeling ko may mga learnings akong nasagap.

Hampas Lupa Guide to Partying with the Shalas

Mag hampas lupa dinner before the party. Minimum of 2 cups of rice + greasy ulam. More carbs, more energy yung walwal. The aim is di ka maghanap ng sisig at siomai in the middle of the party.
Para di lumabas ang pagka hampas lupa sa entrance, always remember: there are 2 types of stamps (1) Visible (2) Invisible. Yung number 2 is most likely what you will expect to receive pag nasa high end club ka.
Kung di ka sure sa mga nagaganap sa paligid, observe observe din mga besh. The rule is kung di sila umangal, ibig sabihin okay na yun. Kung nagreklamo naman sila, makisakay ka nalang para belong hahaha
Dapat handa ka. Magbaon ng at least 3 dance moves. Single single double double, sabay taas ng isang kamay para cool ka kunware.
Unlike your average toma sessions na pag ubos na alak, that’s the end of it kasi ubos na ang ambag, remember na iba sakanila. Pakiusapan na yung liver in advance.
Be prepared sa mga taong makikita mo at wag masyado kiligin at magpa hampas lupa selfie pag nakakita ka ng meztisong yayamaning cutie pie para di halatang it’s not really your scene.
Magbaong ng konting english for the times na wala pang amats. For sure pag lasheng na it will naturally flow and come out
Ang pinakamahalaga sa lahat, enjoy the moment! What I learned is that kahit nasa kanto inuman man or high end club man ako- depende parin yan sa kasama mo and kung pano niyo enjoy yung moment. Yun lang, shapath na!

Aca-ntahan

On Loop: Outset

I have always loved music and finding new or old tunes. I remember when I was younger, I had this massive collection of song hits which I try to buy every week and just sing and memorise as many songs my memory could accommodate; I remember listening to the radio 24/7, recording on tape a new favourite and for some cheesy moment, used it to communicate with a former love; I remember my first ever heartbreak, and how music helped me savour the pain through every piercing lyric- and how at the same time helped heal through every electrifying beat and powerful words of encouragement. I remember how music and my passion for dancing merged and how the feeling of ecstasy flowed in my veins and made me so happy; I remember my unending quest of finding new tunes with whatever genre I could get my ears into.

Music is basically a big part of me and for some reason, I feel the need to share a piece of me through some of the music I listen to. It may reflect how I am currently feeling or I find the lyrics or tunes worth listening to. Who knows, you might also find something that creates a huge impact in your life the same way it did mine or, just something that could give you the best mood. That’ll be fun, innit?

…

Blindsided – Bon Iver

Taut line
Down to the shoreline
The end of a blood line
The moon is a cold light

There’s a pull to the flow
My feet melt the snow
For the irony I’d rather know

A Simple Go – Mar

& Burn – Billie Eilish, Vince Staples

Taut line Down to the shoreline The end of a blood line The moon is a cold light

Taut line
Down to the shoreline
The end of a blood line
The moon is a cold light